One effective approach in intervention (conflict or interpersonal) is to break someone or some group's pattern (or story) and subsequently helping them replace it with a better-formed story.
We cannot listen or grow when we're running the same old story in our heads and out ours mouth.
It's like you just cannot watch two movies at the same time.
One story at a time please.
In order to write a better story, you have to interrupt the first one.
How do you do that?
There are many approaches. One of them is confusion...
Master change therapist Milton Erickson said, In all my techniques, almost all, there is a confusion.
When someone is really stuck in their story and wanting help, you have to derail their train of thought.
This can be done in a number of ways. You can either interrupt the story or when it is your time to speak interject...
2. Complicated vocabulary or misuse words
3. Tell a story that does not make any sense... a parable that doesn't really hold together
4. Use shocking or surprising language (use with caution)
5. Have the person change their state (by jumping or moving in some way unfamiliar to them)
If you've ever had the opportunity to see Tony Robbins do this with people, it's astonishing. Milton Erickson was the earlier master.
Once the story is derailed you can elaborate together a new and richer story, one that allows "for new ways of being, new solutions, and new possibilities.
Good luck...let me know how it goes...