LANGUAGE OF CONFLICT
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Consulting
    • Testimonials
  • About
  • Contact
    • Sarah Federman
    • Finish and Flourish
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Consulting
    • Testimonials
  • About
  • Contact
    • Sarah Federman
    • Finish and Flourish

4 Survival Tips for Folks Writing About or Researching Mass Atrocity or Human Rights Violations 

10/27/2016

0 Comments

 
0 Comments

How do you know when the "Time is Right" for change?

10/21/2016

0 Comments

 
0 Comments

Transform Conflict with Narrative 

10/13/2016

0 Comments

 
Please add your comments and questions below!!
0 Comments

You're Not Bad at Spelling, You Just Think It's 1804

10/11/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
I have never seen past the first round of a Spelling Bee. 
While standardized test scores say I have a better vocabulary thank 90% of the country, I spell worse than 70%. 

Embarrassing. 

Well, it was embarrassing until I started reading a biography of Meriwether Lewis-- of Lewis and Clark fame. 

I want to share with you what I learned to help you help your kids or students struggling with spelling. Or if you're simply like me and were harboring a secret shame hidden by spellcheck. 



Picture
A quick reminder: Thomas Jefferson commissioned Lewis (who then invited Clark) to explore the newly acquired (and soon to be acquired) territories in the western United States in the early 1800s.  More frontier men than men of letters, both were literate and both contributed to the now heavily studied and much enjoyed journals they maintained while crossing through what is now the mid-west and western states. 



The challenges along the Missouri River and through Indian country make an astonishing read. But there is also a gift in here for the poor speller. Clark spelled like many elementary school age children do today.  He often spelled phoentically. These were either accepted spellings of the time or their best guesses at proper spelling.

Here are three examples.

1.  route was rout

"I think it more than probable that Capt. Lewis or myself will return by sea, the other by the same rout we proceed."

(Yes, I know some people pronounce route like "root" but for the rest of us, Clark's spelling makes sense.)

2. Clark also used pore instead of poor.

He described the residents of St. Charles as "pore, polite & harmonious" 

3.  He used git instead of get and beet instead of beat. 

May 6, 1804, some settlers in Wood River (near St. Louis) challenged the voyagers to a shooting match. Clark wrote about the challengers that they,

"all git beet and Lose their money."

In the 4th grade, I probably did that.  I imagine if the teacher had just said, "No, Sarah, it's the 1900s now. We don't spelling that way anymore."

What we often call "wrong"  often really means "we don't do thinks that way right now."

Our culture is filled with norms, but they are often just for a time. Borders change, language changes, acceptable behaviors change.

​What's right today could be wrong tomorrow and vice versa. 

Just sayin' 

Picture
Quotes taken from: Ambrose, Stephen. Undaunted Courage: Meriwether Lewis, Thomas Jefferson, and the Opening of the American West. 1st edition. Simon & Schuster. 1997.
0 Comments

Can you ask a more beautiful question?

10/7/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
Can you imagine being able to diffuse a conflict simply by asking a better question?

What if you could propel your organization out of a conundrum by asking teams and leaders really good questions?
​
September 30th, I spoke at the Capital Coaches Conference in Bethesda, Maryland. We had 400 coaches -- from executive to organizational -- sharing their skills and getting their minds blown open, especially around the concept of questions. 

I presented "Narrative Approaches to Conflict Resolution" which taught folks how to identify a storyline that wreaking havoc on a family, individual or group. We talked about how to make a better formed story and how to anchor that new story in the organization. (I will post a video shortly)

Asking Better Questions 

Luckily, my presentation fit in nicely with the keynote speech by former NY Times correspondent Warren Berger who wrote a book called A More Beautiful Question.  ​He also has found himself transfixed by how we come at our conflicts. We have a lot in common! While I'll post a video shortly on Narrative Practices, I wanted to share a few highlights from dear Warren's speech. 
Picture
He pushed back on the long-touted "brainstorming" as a way to think ourselves out of conflict. I love splattering up ideas on a wall. He said, however, that often this approach does not do much for people or organizations. Because after they walk away from the wall, they forget the ideas.

He now advocates for "Question storming." Spend time thinking about what questions we need to be answering. This works for two reasons. Firstly, we don't spend time solving the wrong problem and secondly, he says, the brain continues to chew on questions much longer. So, if you ask yourself - -for example --


"What would I do if I knew I could not fail?"  

Your brain will chew on the question for quite some time giving you all kinds of answers. It's a cool question. Try asking it when you're sitting at a red light.... Wait, on second thought..your answer might be "run the red light." Ok, try this question when you're not sure what to think about next. 
​

Follow Einstein - Spend Time on Your Question 

Picture
  • Berger offered Einstein to support his point.

    Einstein said, if he had one hour to solve a question to save his life, he would spend 55 minutes trying to find the right question! 

    ​Think of the implications!!

    Waking up and spending a few minutes thinking about today's question! 

    What question drives your day?  What might be a better question?





Can you feel the subtle difference between:  
  • "What should I do next?" 
  • "What do I want?" 

The first question may wrap you up in other's agendas or trying to look good. The second will keep you focused on what matters to you. 

The bigger and better the question, the bigger and better your life. 
​

Are big questions too overwhelming?

If big questions are too overwhelming, at least turn your existing goals into questions.

Berger suggests, if you are trying to drink more water. Don't tell yourself, "Drink more water."
Instead, ask yourself, "How can I drink more water?" 

Your brain, like google search, will look for an answer...But unlike google, it will keep looking all day. 

You might get some creative answers.

​Why not give it a try?


Picture
0 Comments

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Afghanistan
    Bullying
    Communism
    Computer Crash
    Conflict Resolution
    Customer Service
    Documentary
    Foreign Policy
    Global Solutions
    Healing
    Indonesia
    Language
    Language Of Conflict
    Life Coaching
    Military History
    Narrative
    Police Brutality
    Political Debate
    Relationships
    Transparency
    World Healling

    Archives

    July 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    September 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    December 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    March 2012

Proudly powered by Weebly